Look, I get it. Being you must suck. I mean, what’s a bitch got to do to land a reality show, for fuck’s sake?
But, unfortunately no matter how many birthday wishes you tweet …
… or immigrants you threaten …
And as long as no one gives a shit, no one will watch you on TV. And no audience = no show.
Mind you, I can see why you’re confused. Your former Celebrity Apprentice co-star and presidential prick Donald Trump is doing great, and he’s messy as fuck. But you aren’t a bigoted straight white man with inherited wealth running for president; you’re a bigoted busted former MySpace celebrity who’s pretty much out of options.
So quit with the messiness. Being messy only gets you a show if you’re actually important in some way. In the meantime, leave Sarah Silverman alone. She’s good people, and you can’t afford the karma.
Far From Reality TV