Assholes Like Abby Lee Miller Make Good TV

Dance Moms’ Abby Lee Miller, continues to campaign for the title of “Worst Human Ever.”

Abby Lee Miller

This past Monday, according to US Magazine

Miller pleaded guilty to one count of concealing bankruptcy assets and one count of structuring international monetary transactions, The Associated Press reports. Last fall, she was charged with attempting to illegally hide $775,000 of income from her reality TV show, spinoffs, personal appearances, dance sessions and merchandise during her Chapter 11 bankruptcy in 2010.

The desire to hide money from the government is at least one most people can relate to. In my opinion, the truly shitty thing Abby did was smuggle $120,000 from Australia to the US by divvying the cash among her employees’ luggage. I have been subjected to many indignities as a Reality Producer, but even I’ll concede that being made complicit in smuggling is not one of them. There has to be a special place in hell for employers who turn their employees into mules.

Per Celebitchy….

The indictment also included the discovery of emails from 2013 sent from Abby to her accountant and a joint venture partner with the subject line “LETS MAKE MONEY AND KEEP ME OUT OF JAIL,” and instructing them to “not raise any red flags” and “DON’T PUT CASH IN THE BANK!!!”

Those e-mails alone illustrate exactly why Miller makes such great Reality Talent. The kind of person who works on Reality should be extremely unself-conscious aka extremely self-absorbed; must want to be on camera, in other words like attention; and, finally, they must somehow, through the force of their personality, penetrate the lens. In other words, they must “pop” onscreen.

You know what kind of person is self-absorbed, loves attention, and penetrates the lens with the sheer force of their  persona? An asshole. 


Now I’m not saying that all Reality TV stars are assholes (it’s more like 97.5 percent); nor am I saying that assholes shouldn’t be allowed to monetize their tendencies on Reality TV. But I am saying that maybe they shouldn’t be allowed “teach” children, have children or, based on Miller, employ staff. In general, their human interactions should be limited to the relentless warfare they wage on the long-suffering production staff shooting their show (God help us all).

It is therefore unfortunate that until she returns to court for sentencing on October 11, Miller plans to travel across the States for employment/to spread the crazy. On the upside, she could get up to 2 and a half years in prison.

We can only pray.

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