Your Apprentice Outtakes are Now Worth a Million Dollars

Dear Apprentice Editors and Producers:

I have previously written encouraging you to release the compromising footage of The Donald that I know at least some of you have nestled in your inboxes.

Now Larry Flynt is offering a million dollars bounty for those cool little outtake reels. In a press release Flynt states…

I have always celebrated women. Women in all shapes and sizes. To treat a woman like Mr. Trump himself has is both disappointing and unbelievable, especially coming from someone who wants to be our President.

Flynt has even set up a website to streamline the submission process.


May I be so bold as to suggest that you take Clinton ally David Brock up on his offer to pay the fine for breaking your NDA and pocket a cool one million into the bargain?

That the Billy Bush footage delivered a powerful blow to Trump’s campaign is not in dispute. But he still has time to recover. And with allies like Roger Stone in the mix, I just don’t think we can leave this outcome to chance.

Accusations are good but people believe what they see and hear for themselves. So footage is way, way better.

I suggest you see this as an opportunity to do good and finance either a career change (or at least give you the funds to hold you over while you find a job you actually want to do).

You’ve already told Cinemontage the struggles you faced making Trump look vaguely coherent.

Wouldn’t it be awesome to be able to pick and choose your gigs, rather than have to take the next shitty gig making some other ass clown look like a successful businessman/designer/or what you will?

Shit, I’d do it if I could!

Your move.


2 thoughts on “Your Apprentice Outtakes are Now Worth a Million Dollars

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